gutten tag,
 Well hello, we are home.
We got home yesterday. I got to Abilene first as I had a job to do so I left to head this was in order to get here.
I am noticing that the days seem longer on some days and shorter on others.
I look forward to the weekends now.
I did a chick fillet yesterday , It was a new client for me and it is always fun going a new sow on ay  new client in a new location.
The isp was unknown and was not your usual (isp is Internet service provider) and the environment was fast food service in a new store. I had to put an access point up above the crop ceiling tiles and run 100 foot Orange data cable from it into the back room and connect it to a bunch of things to get them to have free WiFi in their facility. Usually not a bog deal on a new site under construction.. Of course this site was already finished and very very busy and a new site, which, in our town, means it is the hottest place in town.... so i had to try to not get knocked off the ladder 14 feet in the air for 4 hours while i found ways to run this data cable over all the pipes and wires and cables and light fixtures in the very complicated structure,.
I must say i was impressed with the assortment of piping and channels in the ceiling carrying things around and over throughout the site... We have come along way from the 50's and good old white Castle burgers.. Car hops and roller skates... Technological marvel.. but I'm still nostalgic..
One of the difficulty's of dementia, possibly of the Alzheimer's variety as we are instructed to say, is that , as the day goes on, we slow down almost exponentially...
if i don't get started on time i can get into trouble and perhaps not get finished at all...
So far I have been blessed and manage to pull it together.
i can feel myself slowing down starting to sweat starting to shut down..
If I concentrate i can find things to keep me focused practice things like rubber baby buggy bumpers drink energy drinks take combat naps and so forth.
If I have a GOOD day like Thursday i just keep going and going like the energizer bunny lol.
Some days i get up and is is a bad day,
my brain seems to be stuck on reboot. I get migraines and cant seem to stay focused on much of anything
I am now at the point where i try not to go anyplace alone
other than in Tuscola perhaps, and maybe around Abilene regional hospital since that's my safe area. My ZONE.
Everyone with his disorder, disease condition what have you has a comfort zone, mine is my chair, and Abilene regional U0SPITAL area???
I have no idea why?
MAYBE BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONES THAT BROUGHT ME BACK WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY OVERDOSED IN 2000?
 Maybe because they are the ones that kept Hannah alive as a newborn and when she got sick all those times in the first two years???
It feels so strange to actually feel my brain slow down.
I am getting used to having issues remembering words and names in the middle of sentence's and stories finally..
In the beginning it frustrated me and even made me angry.
Now it is almost amusing i guess..
i just curse at Alzheimer and move on...
Yesterday I started laughing almost uncontrollably remembering when I used to say  had a photo static mind ( instead of a photographic memory) JUST TO GET PEOPLES GOATS AND THEN WAIT FOR A RESPONSE. MY FAVORITE RESPONSE WAS NO RESPONSE LOL...
 on the first day of a ;earning institution i wont mention here , that I highly respect the instructor made two profound statements that i carry with me to this day.
Everything is not what it seems...
Everything from this "moment" on; is a test......

I have lived my life buy those two specifically, and several others since that day.
I always told my squad, believe none of what you hear and half of what you see, watch the body language ignore the words , except for the key trigger words...
When i take on new contractors as ride along I start out playing stupid old man and see how it goes from there.
I never let them know what i know and always only say what i want them to hear. I will stretch the truth to see what they do, challenge them to see if they respond, goat them to see if they challenge me and even prod them if the need arises. I WILL PICK ON THEM AND EVEN TRY TO EMBARRASS THEM, PUSH THEIR BUTTONS AND DO WHATEVER I CAN IN THOSE TWO WEEKS TO GET THEM TO QUIT...
If they survive a month I remember their first name
If they service two months i remember their last name
after four months they get a nickname.
After 6 months I start buying them tools, then start treating them like family......
Eventually I help them make more than they have ever made and eventually they end up going out to some corporate JOB someplace....
This contracting is not for everyone
there are feast and famine months
long days and short days
good days and bad ones..
So Alzheimer's is almost like my contracting job lol
Good days and bad days, long days and short days, feast and famine...
The big difference is; CONTRACTING ISN'T GOING TO KILL ME...
I can feel the changes now.
I could not even tell I had it in stage one other than occasionally forgetting.
Yes I did have some behavior issues now and then, but nothing like the past two years....
other than marrying Amber my Judgement was always sound.
I guess she was my sine that i had Alzheimer's.
I did not want to get divorced from Lila, I did not want to marry Amber...
I did not want to move out of that nice house on Davids court...
I did not want to give up any of my businesses,..
My mother dying was most positively the catalyst for my downfall.
It killed my spirit.
my hope
my joy
wow
nap time...