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Monday, July 30, 2012

Another day another reminder...

Today started out like most Mondays...
Got up, got dressed, sat at my computer trying to plan my week using airset and the 5 portals we primarily use to manage our contracts.
check emails and see what i need to do to finish last week and get this week started..
This used to take about 20 minutes.
It now takes a few hours...
At 10:30 I was supposed to call Gm financial and make arrangements to get caught up on my wife's car payments.
The events of the last few months have resulted in my forgetting to get some bills paid correctly and we had agreed that I would call them today...
I got busy on the phone and also noticed I was behind getting a few contracts finished and almost left too late to make lunch with my wife.
After lunch I got busy doing other work and personal items before i could get to work on Wednesday..
t 5pm i was to be at the Alzheimer's local building for a meeting to get my wife and i signed up for early stage group. I was only 9 minutes late, which these days is good. I used to be 15 minutes early to everything, I am happy to be only 10 minutes late now..
I have alarms that go off all day on my phone and text messages to remind me of everything repeatedly so it is a help..
As i shut off my engine my phone rang...
It was my lovely wife. Amazingly calm considering, she informed me I was going to have to go get her as her car was gone.
They had come and taken it, the repo man we assume..
I was distraught.
This woman is the greatest  person to ever come into my life and my illness and I managed to get her car repossessed..
I apologies the best i could and heed her way trying not to cry while driving..
I got on the phone and looked up the number again for the gmac financial help line.
I eventually got through and explained the situation....
Mu name was not on the list as Karen and i have only been married since November and we have not had an opportunity to fax or emailed forms to them to correct her name and add me.
Eventually I made it to Karen and he gave  me the info i needed to get eh man to add me....
Now we have to find a way to get the car back...
I feel so bad , so so bad,,,
I can't believe I could have let this happen to my wonderful wife.
She is my world...
I pray she forgives me and that nothing is missing from her car and we can get it back soon..
This illness is not an excuse for everything, however it is definitely the cause of great dis concern.
Going from a photographic memory and person that does everything early, on time , organised beyond normal and always had an answer for everything to this muddled mess I am becoming is not explainable or expressible by any of the millions of words i used to remember...
I pray God give my family and Friends the strength to endure whatever I have in store for them in the future
I love you all. Please forgive me, I'm doing the best I can
I heard from my cousin that our friend is giving her father UN-purified coconut oil?
Has anyone else hear of this?
I will look for some tomorrow..

I am burned out tired spent
more tomorrow
God bless you all..

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Another day in paradise...

    Well; i yelled at my lovely wife today.

I pray she can get a grip on all this.
She is so smart yet so sensitive.
We where out at Dyess air force base.
A young lady had scheduled a Scentsy slash VELATA part out there today and my lovely wife is an area representative for that company>>
I accompany her on all her endeavors and we has her car all packed up and we where all ready to go...
Unfortunately, they have rebuilt the housing area at Dyess since I was out there and we had a difficult time getting around in the housing area.. My lovely wife grew impatient with my attempts to locate the address and turned on her in-phone GPS,  typed in the address and it started spouting out directions then locked up ( Murphy"s law) now Frank's law stating that Murphy was an optimist; right then a base cop showed up, i got nervous and yelled, well; "if you don't know how to use it , why turn it on????"... Wow was that me???
Anyway i tried to apologies, but that's not effective with my lovely. First off she is already hard of hearing, then has selective hearing when i make her upset.. So, i continued to putter around until she got it to work and I followed it and muttered stupid utterances until we finally located the house.
Franks law being what it is; the girls husband had just came back from Afghanistan a week late after her not seeing him for almost a year and, well; she was not about to answer the door...

So, back in the car, off to burger King for lunch , then, off to the airplane museum on base to look at some of the planes I used to fly on then off to get hay for the sheep and home...

Yes I said sheep! James...
Some how, some way,. someone talked us into taking on 5 sheep.
Well, they said goats and there where 2.
Then they texted and said 3, then OK maybe four, eventually 4 and a baby, and then they got here and they said oh, did we say goats, sorry... They look like goats, eat like goats, but, they are Barbados sheep...??!!

Our 30 year old daughter got to putting up a temporary fence, we got some feed and  well; now I'm a darn sheep herding rancher lol.
I guess if it was good enough for Moses, it's good enough for me..

I don't know how or why, but some how, going out there every day and talking to those animals and feeding them gives me a weird sense of purpose. I've been looking for a long staph to carry and started growing a beard LOL...
Before this disease , if you said hey frank why not herd sheep, I would have laughed and went back to playing call of duty....
i have not played much lately...
Guess I need to do that
The guys in there don't really seem to believe i have it yet..
Although when i have one of my fits and yell they seem to time out lol
maybe they are starting to get the picture???
I can still kick their buts a few games a nite
the first game or two is usually ugly, I get clobbered for a bit, once I get into the rhythm though i can usually end up one of the top 3 out of 12...
I have been online gaming with some of them for 7 years and we know how each other plays and it makes for an interesting game..
We have a group called a Clan. from the old Scottish mores battlement days
we are the Clan RTTC
rotten to the core
Most of the guys are older , some are handicapped in one way or another, but more than make it up in other areas as is Gods way...
I love each of them in a different way and enjoy the fellowship and camaraderie almost as much as my 25 years in the military..
This has taken my about 6 hours to type , so I'm going to go to bed now.
I apologies for the random thought patterns and sporadic pathways of my mind. but that's how it works inside this maze
My God bless and protect each and every one of you.
Please tell everyone in your life how special they are, before they are gone, and that opportunity is gone with them...
good night and God Bless

Saturday, July 28, 2012


OK, nice short nap followed by ice cream
Home made. Amazing how the simple things seem somehow nicer now?
new development...
I seem to be struggling with typing now.
I have to focus more and look for keys and then try to think what I'm trying to type.
This is going to slow me down Even more..
Kim sent her dragon naturally speaking.,
I am going to put off using it until I cant type any longer, or at least can't type fast enough top keep up with my slowly decreasing pace of train of thought.. Wow that's odd grammar lol...
Anyway.... Brain arguing with itself getting in the way of my blog...
I have a few blogs going.
Not all of them in English
I feel sorry for my non English speaking friends. I don't think they have spell check in German and Rushin and Portuguese
 I am also experimenting with some weird software for marketing,
We shall see what we shall see.
I would like to get some inputs from anyone that actually reads these
I am getting 30 hits a day, but no one is posting anything??
This is a BLOG...
You can respond, reply all you want.
The only people that cant are ones living in hostile countries as determined by the DHS.
If your not on a watch list , by all means please give me some input..
I am searching for holistic remedies or treatments or anything that people have heard, are using out there to assit their family and loved ones with this lead weight we are carrying
This illness does not just effect/affect the patient.... NO NO NO everyone around them is affected..
everyone we come into contact with is effected..
anything you can do to make it easier for us makes it easier for you :)
OK I lost my train of thought once again went surfing for 20 minutes now I'm back...
Alzheimer's is kind of like ADHD..
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb???
See.. only people that understand get that...
Once you do, you will start to understand life inside my head...
It fits so well..
OK, I miss my family, so I am going to go search for how ever many of them I can find, and still identify.Love all of you... whoever you are lol..

gutten tag,
 Well hello, we are home.
We got home yesterday. I got to Abilene first as I had a job to do so I left to head this was in order to get here.
I am noticing that the days seem longer on some days and shorter on others.
I look forward to the weekends now.
I did a chick fillet yesterday , It was a new client for me and it is always fun going a new sow on ay  new client in a new location.
The isp was unknown and was not your usual (isp is Internet service provider) and the environment was fast food service in a new store. I had to put an access point up above the crop ceiling tiles and run 100 foot Orange data cable from it into the back room and connect it to a bunch of things to get them to have free WiFi in their facility. Usually not a bog deal on a new site under construction.. Of course this site was already finished and very very busy and a new site, which, in our town, means it is the hottest place in town.... so i had to try to not get knocked off the ladder 14 feet in the air for 4 hours while i found ways to run this data cable over all the pipes and wires and cables and light fixtures in the very complicated structure,.
I must say i was impressed with the assortment of piping and channels in the ceiling carrying things around and over throughout the site... We have come along way from the 50's and good old white Castle burgers.. Car hops and roller skates... Technological marvel.. but I'm still nostalgic..
One of the difficulty's of dementia, possibly of the Alzheimer's variety as we are instructed to say, is that , as the day goes on, we slow down almost exponentially...
if i don't get started on time i can get into trouble and perhaps not get finished at all...
So far I have been blessed and manage to pull it together.
i can feel myself slowing down starting to sweat starting to shut down..
If I concentrate i can find things to keep me focused practice things like rubber baby buggy bumpers drink energy drinks take combat naps and so forth.
If I have a GOOD day like Thursday i just keep going and going like the energizer bunny lol.
Some days i get up and is is a bad day,
my brain seems to be stuck on reboot. I get migraines and cant seem to stay focused on much of anything
I am now at the point where i try not to go anyplace alone
other than in Tuscola perhaps, and maybe around Abilene regional hospital since that's my safe area. My ZONE.
Everyone with his disorder, disease condition what have you has a comfort zone, mine is my chair, and Abilene regional U0SPITAL area???
I have no idea why?
 Maybe because they are the ones that kept Hannah alive as a newborn and when she got sick all those times in the first two years???
It feels so strange to actually feel my brain slow down.
I am getting used to having issues remembering words and names in the middle of sentence's and stories finally..
In the beginning it frustrated me and even made me angry.
Now it is almost amusing i guess..
i just curse at Alzheimer and move on...
Yesterday I started laughing almost uncontrollably remembering when I used to say  had a photo static mind ( instead of a photographic memory) JUST TO GET PEOPLES GOATS AND THEN WAIT FOR A RESPONSE. MY FAVORITE RESPONSE WAS NO RESPONSE LOL...
 on the first day of a ;earning institution i wont mention here , that I highly respect the instructor made two profound statements that i carry with me to this day.
Everything is not what it seems...
Everything from this "moment" on; is a test......

I have lived my life buy those two specifically, and several others since that day.
I always told my squad, believe none of what you hear and half of what you see, watch the body language ignore the words , except for the key trigger words...
When i take on new contractors as ride along I start out playing stupid old man and see how it goes from there.
I never let them know what i know and always only say what i want them to hear. I will stretch the truth to see what they do, challenge them to see if they respond, goat them to see if they challenge me and even prod them if the need arises. I WILL PICK ON THEM AND EVEN TRY TO EMBARRASS THEM, PUSH THEIR BUTTONS AND DO WHATEVER I CAN IN THOSE TWO WEEKS TO GET THEM TO QUIT...
If they survive a month I remember their first name
If they service two months i remember their last name
after four months they get a nickname.
After 6 months I start buying them tools, then start treating them like family......
Eventually I help them make more than they have ever made and eventually they end up going out to some corporate JOB someplace....
This contracting is not for everyone
there are feast and famine months
long days and short days
good days and bad ones..
So Alzheimer's is almost like my contracting job lol
Good days and bad days, long days and short days, feast and famine...
The big difference is; CONTRACTING ISN'T GOING TO KILL ME...
I can feel the changes now.
I could not even tell I had it in stage one other than occasionally forgetting.
Yes I did have some behavior issues now and then, but nothing like the past two years....
other than marrying Amber my Judgement was always sound.
I guess she was my sine that i had Alzheimer's.
I did not want to get divorced from Lila, I did not want to marry Amber...
I did not want to move out of that nice house on Davids court...
I did not want to give up any of my businesses,..
My mother dying was most positively the catalyst for my downfall.
It killed my spirit.
my hope
my joy
nap time...

Friday, July 27, 2012

canyon lake today with friends.
Then on to abilene for work Interesting vacation lol

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Alzheimers for all

Hello and welcome to "the blog"

The translation of the name is Alzheimer's for all .

I had to use German in order to get it accepted as someone already had the other name.

About me:
     My name is Frank
I am in the second stage of this challenge and thought this would be an interesting experiment to challenge myself and to perhaps be a tool for someone to watch me progress through my next stages.
My intent is to have a place for everyone, anyone to come to blog about this interesting challenge in our life
As of today someone , someplace in the world comes down with this decease every 69 seconds/minutes from what I remember...well see, that's the irony.

     Ten years ago you could have bet the farm on my memory.
I spoke 16 languages and remembered everything I Read, everything I saw and almost everything I heard..
( if your looking for spelling and grammatical  errors, your going to be very busy as  I can't stop and fix them or ill never get this done)

I spent 25 years in the US Air Force Serving my Country Proudly and retired in Abilene Texas.
I was horn In Elizabeth New Jersey in 1953.
My life from birth until now is very colorful to say the least.
I have lived all over the world.
I have been married four times now, Have accumulated 8 children with four wives.
At one time i spoke 16 languages and can still struggle through about three.. 4-5 on a good day.
I can still spout numbers and phrases in most of the 9 or so common languages but , for the most part they are gone..
What i used to do all day, no, pretty much takes all day to do.
simple things are tedious and I get tired, so tired , so tired...
I still love, still cry ( easier now and more often)
Pain is somehow greater as is love... But life is great because I still know who I am, where I am and who the people are around me,.
I can get confused, get lost now and then.
Have had 2 panic attacks now in public places....
But I'm still "functional"
So, join this adventure with me as i putter through life and share my days
Tell me of any remedies any treatments any good news for modern man out there
We are having a walk this year
I will have my wonderful wife show me the link and put it on here
God bless and protect you all