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Sunday, September 9, 2012

Whos is this and what is he doing






Here I am back in the 90's ; looking young with no facial hair
Those where the days o photographic memory and learning a new language every 60 days..
Combat always kept me on my game.
The stress and adrenalin was addictive...

You could always tell the new people at the pre-mission  briefings because they where the ones that looked stressed lol. trying to memories word and codes of the day, trying to remember the SAR plans primary, alternate and tertiary. I miss it all for some reason... You would think after 4.5 years of combat and combat support missions I would not miss it...
But there is something about the comradery, the highly trained crews executing the checklists, the sense of satisfaction when we complete whatever mission they send our way.
The team in sync everyone on the same page and getting back to base to debrief then go for dinner or explore whatever country , state , city they sent us to THIS time. Even Tent city during combat has memories.
My favorite one was at Alain U.A.E .where everyone set up something special to them even a Foreign legion club. movie theater, recreation center, shoppet ( 7-11) WE had hooch's and tents and even build a cub, we even had  MASH tent (the swamp)....
It was wonderful to see all the unique buildings our fellow Military comrades built from scrap wood sweat and love for home...
The fastest growing building was of course the church.
BELIEVE the old adage, there are not atheist in the fox hole!!

I think i will look for one of my boxes of military memories, locked up since I started therapy again for PT SD...

Well it is late,
I had a very difficult week. More bad days then good..
Thank God for the people that helped me all week
Sorry i missed the support group. I was too far away at work to get back..

I hope my good days start coming back more often..
I am not ready for stage three...

Love everyone! Jesus told us to love everyone and love our enemies like we love ourselves..

I got upset today because, sometimes, I fell like everyone still expects me to be nice 24-7 and never be allowed to express any negative feelings without being chastised..

I would end this all myself now, and save everyone the problem of putting up with me, but I am not ready
I know I am going to get worse, and pray i don't get abused when i hit stage three because i don't know whats going on and will probably be in a nasty mood most of the time rather than once every few months..

Even Jesus lost his temper in the temple destroying peoples things and kicking them out of his fathers house for casting Lott's.. And he is perfect.... So, me not being Mr perfect 24/7 is probably an unreasonable expectation....

Squirrel....
Nite

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